Didja Read This Yet?

JSA All-Stars #1
So let's see if I get this straight: An older, established team of superheroes goes about boosting their ranks by seeking younger like-minded do-gooders in search of guidance. But the old ways of tackling crime don't work as well in the new millennium, causing the young'ins to break rank and and form a splinter team under a grizzled, battle-tested leader. They'll have a few battles, catch some bad guys, destroy some property, and eventually end up in a head-to-head clash between the old guard.

Where have I read this before?

Now, let me say that I am not the Leonard Maltin of comic-book critiquing, seeing as how my body of comic knowledge doesn't extend into the deep, historical archives of DC Comics Silver-Age heroes and their offspring. I go as far back as early-to-mid 80s and I am more preferential to the crime, street-level hero types with a serious bias towards Marvel's stable of writers and characters. But my friends that are "old DC heads", guys that will rattle off history with impeccable accuracy at a drop of a 40-something writer's pen ret-conning 60's throwaway writings, enjoy the JSA stories by Geoff Johns. So, what do I do? I give the new spinoff book, JSA All-Stars, a shot, thinking that I could have something to talk to them about in their wheelhouse. I did, and I'm done.

That's it. No more. No less. It's Rob Liefeld's Cable-led X-Force. It's a first issue showcasing a new team. Familiar territory. They get into a skirmish with an army of baddies that will have greater repercussions in later issues, you see the human side of certain members, talking about their personal insecurities that may have greater impact in later issues, you get a brief tour of their headquarters/crib, which will probably be infiltrated somewhere in later issues. Writing by numbers. The standard template for a new team book is all there, except for the shadowy, mysterious team member with the questionable past that will have greater repercussions in later issues.

Not a good issue. Not a bad issue. Not enough for me stick around to find out what happens next. EVEN with the hopes of Power Girl having a nip slip by letting her uniform get blown up and shredded twice in this issue, it's just not enough.



Speaking of which, who does Power Girl tailoring; the seamstress at that works for the WWE? There must be some serious quadruple-stitching going on in and around that circle of cleavage, or as I like to call it, her mammary symbol. Who needs help from someone with an 'S' on his chest, or a bat, when you can call on 2 Ds? And I don't mean Daredevil.